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Successful Sunday, October 3, 2020

Hair of the dog

broken image

I am not hungover, but I did take my son out for his first drink yesterday.  The oft sited cure for a hangover is a little hair of the dog.  You drink to help you feel better.  Stick with me.  I went to see my doctor for my annual physical.  She gave me hair of the dog for my advice.  Everything I share with others came back to me to convict me.  "How can you tout wellness and self-care when you will not do it for yourself?"  I fell off the workaholics wagon last week.  I did take a half day and put myself in a position where I was physically unable to work.  I am also happy to report that I am fully rested and engaging in things that I love.

When you are trying to solve a problem, it is important to define the problem.  Otherwise, your time and effort may be focused on the wrong thing and you will have to deal with the problem again.  I'll use myself as an example.  This is a condensed 5W1H reading.  What is happening?  I am trying to tell myself a new story and die to old habits.  It is a journey and I have not been smelling the roses.  I have had a major shift in my life and I am fooling myself that everything can stay the same.

Why is this a problem?  It is a problem, because it is clouding my judgement.  Even when I get to top of the mountain, I am trying to climb higher instead of enjoying the view.  Trying to keep everything the same is disconnecting me from what is actually important to me.  It is a cliche, but it is true, that nobody on their death bed wishes they spent more time in the office.  Where does it happen?  It is not limited to the workplace.  It is easier to herd kittens than all the things I say yes to doing.  I am scattering my energy in all areas of my life.  I tell myself the story that the things I do for me are selfish so I throw my energy into everyone else.  I just realized this Friday.  After a relaxing lunch with my friend, I came home to all the kids needing information for the FAFSA.  I told myself the story that when I take time for me, I am punished.  Is this true?

Who is this affecting?  Everyone I care about.  This disrupts family time, spiritual time, dream time, and play time.  You can't pour from an empty cup.  I sure am trying and it's all I can do to keep my head above water.  I keep telling myself the story that I'm okay, everything is okay, but if I face reality, it is not okay.  When does this happen?  I am noticing the pattern, that when there is a huge shakeup or change, I work hard to make the same mistakes.  Mistakes is too harsh of a word.  I work hard to produce the same outcomes that I do not enjoy because they are the devil I know.  My goose it cooked either way.  How often does this happen?  Every time I start something just for me.  

What is the problem statement?  My main support system has been taken from me and instead of reaching out for help, I continue to take on the workload, leaving no time for myself and therefore no time for everyone else in the long run which puts me at risk for serious burnout if I am not there already.  You have to look at the reality of your situation without the rose colored glasses.  Change is scary, but if you do not understand why the change is needed, the change will not be sucessfully implemented.  What is the problem you are trying to solve?  The answer may not be what you expect.  Namaste

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