I have a mantra. "I have enough time to accomplish everything important to me." Yet, I struggle with time management. That's not quite right. I block out time and am pretty good about estimating how long it takes to do things. I actually struggle with setting boundaries and respecting my time. I sometimes squander my energy or I do not understand who I am. This week I hosted two #IamRemarkable workshops at my job. They were phenomenal and very high energy events. Today the other shoe dropped. When you think you are a magical being and butt up against the reality of your limitations, it is humbling. I am actually putting off a homework assignment of writing down all my fears.
Maybe I am not the person I think I am. "Who do you think you are? You can't do this. You aren't ready." To all this, I say - yet. Do you wait for the moon and stars to align and for the perfect moment to act? I have waited far too many years procrasti-learning instead of implementing. Lately I have starting doing. Taking my own advice and employing Start-Up principles to my life, I have created a viable product and starting doing. It's the same thing with painting. Instead of treating every piece like it has to be the next Mona Lisa, I play. The stakes are not as high as I make them out to be. The world is not watching my every move, but I can make an impact by sharing the things I learn. I can share tips and the tools that I use, but until you try and paint your own life, mine will always be a poor facsimile.
I read an article and then I start worrying. I am worrying about my imaginary staff and my imaginary inventory. Worry is another delaying tactic. When you start to deal with the now, you remove the power of "what about?" What if instead, I work on the things impacting me now? I was speaking with my dad yesterday and he was telling me about nutgrass. He said once it shows up in your yard, you have to dig down and find the nut, follow the roots to the next nut and carefully excavate all of them to ensure it doesn't take over the yard. My worries are like nutgrass. I have to tear up the soil of my worry and get to the root of it to clear it out. The soil is then aerated and ready to receive water and for the strong roots of the good things planted to flourish and bloom.
Preparation is not sexy. Everyone wants to be the star on the stage. It takes hours of tedious practice and building a foundation to be able to improvise and make your performance a revelation. Success is also not about hustling twenty-four seven. We need time to reflect. Are we working on the right things? I can spend time mixing paints, but if the colors do not suit the composition, I have worked very hard yet accomplished nothing. That also may not be true depending on the types of paints. Oil stays wet for some time. I may have the wrong palette for my current work, but it may come in handy on something else. That is the magic of play - what if? What if I...
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