Return to site

Successful Sunday, February 14th, 2021

Self-Love is a Radical Act

Child on the floor crying and holding their elbow.  They are wearing a yellow basketball short set.  Another child in a red an black set looms over them.

DeBarge is singing about “the beat of the rhythm of the night,” and Lionel follows up about how we are going to “party, caramba, fiesta, forever.” I am singing along until I am doing my best dog howl because I am weeping silently.
My son does not wonder how I suddenly “forgot” the words because he is trying to sleep. I wipe away the tears and realize how much I have been suppressing. Did you ever have a moment when someone says something, and it hits you like the very voice of God?

My girlfriend warned me that I was running on empty; I did not listen. Ironically, the following day I was listening to a podcast where the guest spoke about trying to host a training session from her hospital bed after giving birth while I spent my weekend working. I was similarly driven and prevented from doing the same because there was no Wi-Fi. She said if you are not getting your work done during working hours, you need to review your choices. I still managed to drop off items for my cousin, aunt, and daughter to come home and finish my self-inflicted project while on fumes. It’s not like the universe has not sent me signs; first my girlfriend, then a video in my queue about being assertive with grace, and finally the podcast about boundaries and priorities. When I say yes to everyone and everything, I am saying no to myself.

I wish I could tell you that I have had an epiphany, ripped off the band-aid, did serious self-reflection, and stopped beating myself up, but while I am typing this to you, everything is getting pushed down for the next party music crying driving spree. I need to take my advice. What are the Nuggets of Wisdom I would give myself?

Considerations for the Present: I have a grand vision of providing ten million meals. There I wrote it down and said it out loud to the millions of people who read my blog. (See how I snuck and affirmation in there?)
Potential Challenges: When you play where no one else is playing, there is no instruction manual. That is why you must have the vision to guide you. I need to take a sword to my life areas that do not serve me.
What may help: The fact that I have more to learn does not mean that I do not know anything. I am a badass, and we keep growing!
What’s next?: If I am not failing daily, I am not doing it right. We resist change because we want to stay safe. Being a transformative and transcendent being does not happen by playing it safe.

What band-aid do you need to rip off? How will you say yes to yourself? Namaste