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Successful Sunday, August 22nd, 2021

What Do I Need to Know? My Nugget

Boy with long hair at night.  Only his profile is lit and little bits of his red shirt.  There is a window in the background with chain fence.

I have not as much time to draw this week.   I like to do art because it tells me things about myself that I am unaware.  The little boy in the reference is serene and calm.  The little boy I drew is sad and perturbed.  Today I rolled out of bed and immediately decided to get things done.  I had put off many things this week due to scheduling.  I repotted some flowers, finally planted my hedges, donated some clothing, and drew some art.  I'm on top of the world, right?

The challenge for me continues to be rest and reflection.  Honestly, when I stand still, oft times the feels hit.  I've had my share of tears this week but that is not a bad thing.  Crying is another thing that we assign a negative label unfairly.  I have so many things that I want and need to do and rest is one of them, but it is the one that I keep deferring.   There is a saying, measure twice, cut once.  That is the power of rest and reflection.  

I enjoyed the momentum of this morning.  I was so productive and got so many things done.  That is the danger of getting things done.  It becomes addictive.  You want to do more and more until you become overwhelmed and burnout.  My picture showed me that I am not as happy as I thought about getting things done.  My inner child is a little sad and a little annoyed with me.  I have to make rest as much a priority as getting things done because the two are intertwined.  When rested, I am more resilient and have more clarity.  Have you been in a fog?  Do you see a correlation between your performance and your level of rest.  I can't speak for you, but I can tell a marked difference in my outputs when there is not enough of an input of rest and reflection.

Ironically, it is because I have a to-do list that I am getting nothing done.  When you keep running you may not realize that you have drifted off the path.  The tunnel vision of ticking boxes can make you forget why you were running in the first place.  Sadly, for me, this is cyclical.  I start off hopeful and full of energy.  I feel omnipotent, each check mark fueling the madness.  When you are on top of the world, you forget the fall is a long way down.  It is all about perspective.  I started my day in the dirt.  It takes effort to prepare the soil to receive the seed.  As I washed away the dirt, I hope that the lesson will not also go down the drain.  Namaste.

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