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What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do

Part 8 of 10

A little monkey looking solemnly at its reflection.

Welcome back.  Last week we learned how to let our light shine and to not hide our talents. So this week, we are going to lean into accepting ourselves.  I was having tea with a dear friend, and she said that people call her judgmental.  She said, “I am,” and noted that many had called her to judge events. However, when you look at the actual definition of judgment, according to Google definitions from Oxford Languages, it means “the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.”  Yet, we have such a poor opinion of judgment and take it as a negative.  My friend accepted who she was, perceived faults and all, and did not shy away from it.  

We spend time and energy juggling our masks.  The person we are by ourselves is different from who we are in the office or amongst friends.  I understand why we keep parts of ourselves private from other people, but we should not fool ourselves.  The story we tell ourselves that we are is a best seller on the fiction list. We need to stop and look ourselves in the eye and explore non-fiction. Then, like the great Future Cain always says, “sit with yourself.”  Ironically, I am asking you to judge yourself, not in a punitive way.  As the definition states, make a considered decision and come to sensible conclusions.  Another friend reached out because they were having negative feelings towards another friend.  They judged themselves harshly.  I suggested they embrace and accept the emotion because I had an idea that it was not really about the other person but more about something lacking in their own life.  When we embrace our whole self, we preserve energy.  Trying to be someone we are not wastes resources.  I enjoy fantasy, and many of the characters sometimes use a glamour to appear to be something they are not.  It is challenging for them to maintain it in stressful situations because it requires tremendous amounts of energy.  When you accept who you are and put your strengths and weaknesses in context, it can help you to be at peace.  Touching on retrocausality, making peace with your past can influence your present and future.  Take an assessment of yourself and gain understanding.  Knowing who you are is invaluable in becoming clear about your direction and next steps.  Look in the mirror unflinchingly but with kindness.  Who…are…you?

Understanding who you are can help to prevent rushing in blindly.  I have charged at many windmills in my life only to realize they were illusions.  When we do not understand or accept ourselves, it leads to confusion. For example, I kept wearing a skin suit that did not belong to me.  If we try to be someone other than ourselves, we will continue to ride hellbent in the wrong direction.  When you know yourself, you can take swift and decisive action aiming for the correct target.  When you learn who you are, you stop wasting time, and the fear melts away.  Do you remember a time that you were in the flow?  You knew what to do precisely and did not worry about the next steps.  Everything fell into place seemingly without effort.  Strength or weakness are sides of the same coin.  My intense focus is lovely for deep work and horrible if you are my kid trying to get my attention at times.  Being able to discern the truth about yourself will help to speed up your progress. So saddle up and hold on to that horse.  Our adventure is about to begin!

Earlier in our journey, I asked you to reflect on the things that no longer serve you.  As you grow, perhaps the stories you told yourself are no longer valid.  When we have new information, we need to consider different strategies.  Are you set in your ways?  Is this helping or hurting you?  If you continue to hold onto the version of yourself that is not true, you will most likely break instead of bend.  I understand aspirations.  I thought I wanted to be a famous singer for the longest time.  That I wanted to sing with my back to the audience should have set off warning bells.  Every time I played, “What would you do with a million dollars?”  Singing was near the bottom of the list.  I was trying to live up to an outdated idea.  Being a professional hummingbird is challenging at times because I know how to do so many things.  I do not fight my shiny object syndrome.  Instead, I use it to fuel my strength of being a clarity concierge.  My mom makes the most delicious macaroni and cheese.  The recipe came from accepting that she did not have time and using her creativity to innovate a baked casserole that blows box mix out of the water.  We would be bereft of the ultimate comfort food if she did it how she was “supposed to” instead of adapting what worked for her.  I am asking you to make a judgment. Are you ready to be yourself? Namaste