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What To Do When You Don't Know What to Do

A Special Bi-Weekly Series: Part 1 of 10

A veery colorful signpost pointing in many different directions to many cities.  There is a fenced in field and mountains beyond in the background.  All against a blue sky.


As I shared last week, my friend volunteered to be a tester for a new reading I wanted to try out. It was really powerful and both of us found what we needed to focus on to achieve our goals. What happens if you do not realize that you are stuck? Do any of the following statements sound like you?  

  • I find myself daydreaming often.  
  • Thoughts of all the things I want to do are running throughmy head.  
  • I constantly stick a pin in my feelings.  
  • I have so many great ideas, but I don’t have the time to work on them.  
  • I need a vacation.  

Are you being honest with yourself, or are you sipping tea in the flames saying that everything is fine? When you are too busy to reflect on what you are doing, you may not realize that you are stuck. If you resonated with any of the prior statements, you may be keeping busy because you have no idea what your next step will be. I used to feel that life was happening to me and I refused to see the role that I played in creating the life I had. 

Being responsible for your outcomes is scary. I held myself back for many years because I was afraid of looking dumb. My inner control freak did not like uncertainty. It took me some time to realize that most of my wounds were self-inflicted. Since my boundaries were porous, it was easy for people and things to invade my space until I found myself overwhelmed and shut down. I would hide in my girl cave and bury my head in the sand. This is not the most effective way to cope, because while I was hiding, the responsibilities were multiplying, and I often found myself double or triple booked and having to get everything done the day before. I kept telling myself, that I would not do this again.  You know the story. I did it again. How am I breaking the cycle? I remind myself that I was strong enough to find a solution and I am still here. If you are ready to reflect on how you got here, you should also be ready to give yourself compassion and grace. 

A simple way is to build in a reflection routine. I was speaking with a friend who was also overwhelmed. We discussed breaking down the various projects into smaller tasks and scheduling them in the calendar. It is very easy to go into auto-pilot, so we ensured that they also built in time to reflect in-between tasks. I have made it a habit to start my day with a pause and think about what my intentions are for the day. When I sit down to do a task, what am I trying to accomplish? How do I know when I have achieved the goal? Take a moment and think about a time when you finished something and felt fulfilled or a time you were proud of what you did. How did it feel? Do you remember how you did it? Are there lessons you learned from those events? I always hashtag TrustTheProcess on most of my posts, because I am on this journey with you. At a minimum, at the end of the day, also take the time to reflect on your day. What went well, where were your opportunities, and what do you need to be successful the next day? 

Perhaps defining success is part of the problem. Stacy, I am reading your blog because I want to know what to do when I don’t know what to do. As we go through the tips, your vision should become more clear. Imagine what your life can be like when you understand your purpose and have a road map of where you would like to go. I can’t promise that you will not hit any bumps in the road or have to take a detour. However, if you can get clarity on the destination, you will not feel so lost as you journey on the road of life. Acknowledging that you are lost is the first step in getting back on track. You can feel free to drive around and hope that you get where you need to go. That does work but it also wastes a lot of energy. Do you want to get behind the wheel or will you let someone else drive you around? You don’t need to do anything rash. I only ask you to reflect on your current situation. If you are lost and want to get clear, join me on this journey to clarity.  

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