I did not know what I was going to write about today. I lost my car keys and in the mad hunt for them I found a book a bought a few years ago. Today, I'm going to try out a more complex tarot spread from Tina Gong. This one is about conflict resolution and it stuck out to me due to last week's post. I also am keeping in mind, Brittney Cooper's quote that "not everyone is worth your time or your rage." When I do a reading I like to use the cards to spark whatever comes to my mind when I ask a question. Let's do this.
I thought about my role in some of the LinkedIn spats and also a current estrangement from a friend. I often operate on a surface level and like to just dip my toe in the water versus observing the waves. Jumping in causes ripples and disturbances. In an incredible social journaling session I came to the realization that not everything requires a response. Sometimes the water is calm and sometimes it is turbulent. The water is and it does not need me to be. What about other people? What is their role? The people I chose to interact did not appear to listen for understanding. Instead, they appear to want to rile people up and I was guilty of taking the bait.
There has always been conflict, but with several events happening at the same time, people are tense. The difference again is are you willing to listen? I had a wonderful conversation with a friend. We agreed on a problem but did not have the same idea for a solution. We did not get angry or shu down. We respectfully listened to what the other had to say. Both of us walked away with more questions than answers, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. I dipped my toe in the water, but I did not check beneath the surface. I am not the most observant person. My husband could sweep a parking lot and be able to tell you who was out that day. I had to wait to get a new key (#Imahotmess) and was reading a book where the characters were doing surveillance. Instantly, I put down my phone and started to observe the workings of the car dealership. It is such a privilege to be oblvious. In conversations, instead of thinking outside the box, we need to observe and address what is in the box. Remember who is missing from the conversation.
I am a recovering little miss fixit. I get into conflict because I waste my energy on things that do not make an impact in the long run and honestly do not concern me. I react instead of respond. Lately, I have taken a pause from interacting with trolls. If they are racist, I just report and release. We sometimes try and force resolution when it is unnecessary. My cat was on the roof and my son was a panic. I got on a stool to try and reach and she walked down to a ladder. By the time I had moved the stool over, she had put a paw on the ladder and quickly scampered down. Knowing when we need to get involved is a skill. I am still practicing. It is getting easier to know when to bend. Instead of getting pulled into the currents, I can get back on the shore and climb the mountains. From that vantage point, I can gain some perspective and decide my next steps. It is really easy to believe your feelings. I am trying to be open to other points of view without getting sucked into the fray. I am going to pay attention to my energy and count the cost before I spend it. Balance and harmony will help me to go from conflict to community.
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