It was easier than I thought to be away from LinkedIn. I did notice a slight increase in other social media, but that eventually petered out. The first thing I did with my extra time was to breathe and have a less hurried morning. I still worked the same hours, so it was good to see that it was not a work distraction. Finally, I took care of some personal travel arrangements that I’ve always been too tired to handle. Because I was aware that I had committed to this break, I was more intentional with the extra time. Not everything has been a win because energy is still at play. I started completing some things and then rushed them to say they were done, but I will have to do them again because it will not work unless I do it right. It’s freed up just enough space for ideas and insights. People did miss me, which was not the point of this exercise, but it still felt nice. Regaining time means better understanding where I want to expend my energy. Do you hear that? Neither do I. When it is essential, people find me. Not gonna lie; I like the quiet.
I am coming back on Monday and continuing the familiar series about how to have a not so Manic Monday. I’ve also done better with boundaries since I noticed the other apps were creeping up. That would have defeated the purpose. “You will find the paperwork you are looking for before you watch your K-drama.” Success! “You will complete one page of the worksheet before you get on your phone. Winning!” I even found time to kick it old school and play my favorite video game with my son. What will be different when I return? I’m going back to not checking any social media till after breakfast. I have rediscovered reading. Timers are going to be my new best friend.
Spending more time with people who spend time to craft thoughtful responses has created seismic shifts in my thinking. I’ve sat with some uncomfortable truths. Hubris. Self-Sabotage. Excuses. People-Pleasing. People who love you will tell you the truth. If you love yourself, you will tell yourself the truth. I have been wasting time. Me. I can call it percolating, biding my time, gathering resources and strength, and a million other cute phrases. I am not a fan of self-flagellation. Digging deeper, the root cause is that I am hiding and hoping that life will take care of itself. Self-care is not always resting (though I do need to rest). Sometimes self-care is accepting that I need help AND doing something different. I am an open book, but I will keep the drafts to myself this time.
I have written this blog while scrolling through other social media. I encountered a cartoon of someone yelling at their brain to “Do Stuff!” The brain responds, “Stop yelling at me!” It’s by @howdoyouadult. My brain has been shouting at me to take a nap. My subconscious has been yelling at me to quit doing things that expire me. Learning to work with my natural tendencies is a work in progress, and I will lie down now. Whom am I kidding? We know I will lie in bed and play on my phone. I did that between those two sentences. Mr. Timer needs to intervene. Tomorrow will be different because I am going to eat the frog. Today is tomorrow, and my Pokémon card to reflect upon was Dialga. Dialga controls time. This reminds me that I control how I spend my time. I did eat the frog this morning and am using carrots and candy to keep me on track. Who enjoys being beaten to perform? I’m whispering to my brain, “eat the carrot, sweetie, you can even dip it in ranch, and then you will get some good dark chocolate.” Namaste