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It's Sunday, April 18th, 2021

Everything's changed and nothing has changed

A yellow and black dragonfly perched on a brown shoot with green vegetation blurred behind.

"I will never let you down

I will always be around

In the time we are here

We'll see love disappear

Don't ask how, don't ask why

Just fly, dragonfly"

Dragonfly - Paul Waaktaar-Savoy, Morten Harket, Magne Furuholmen

It has not happened yet. That call came at nine oh five. That was when I was initiated into the club. The admission price is very high; unthinkable, but the benefits provide comfort. I have gained perspective in a very short time which provides some modicum of peace and calm. The tide comes in and goes out, people get up and go to work, children are born, wars continue, and so it goes. To paraphrase Byron Katie, if you fight with reality you will lose. As I reflect on the events of the past few days, I realized that I am not fighting. I do not know if the storm is brewing, but I will store up the energy from the calm before the storm.

I have completed this part of my life's journey. When you have time to reflect, you take stock of your life. What do my choices look like going forward? I no longer have the buffer of someone to pick up my slack. Knowing that time is finite and energy is not created or lost, I must be a good steward of both precious resources. Right now everything seems to take twice and long to do. What was I rushing for anyway? I want to make more time to sit on my porch and watch the dragonflies.

There is more responsibility coming my way. If energy is neither created or lost, then I may need to shed parts of my old life. What is essential? What is non-negotiable? Even if their life is threatened by their habits, some smokers will not quit. As a recovering workaholic and people-pleaser, will I save my life and quit those habits? I am now fully responsible for five beautiful souls. I am responsible for my response to this situation. What will I choose to do with my life?

Nothing is forcing me to act right away. Inventory should be a slow and careful process. You want to have an accurate count. I was cleaning out my utensil drawer the other day and did not realize that I had a multipurpose vegetable peeler. I have become unstuck from time. I have all the time in the world to accomplish what is important to me. The trick is to determine what is important. How will I spend more time with dragonflies? Namaste.

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