“Mom, don’t you want your phone? It’s a commercial.” – my son
Me – “No, I don’t need my phone every moment of the day.”
“Your name is Stacy ‘On My Phone’ Casson.” – my son.
How would you feel? Does it feel like your kid stabbed you in the heart? Believe it or not, you decide what it means. I thought my son was hilarious, and I realized he must see me on my phone quite a bit. I wanted to play a quick game of Block Blaster during the next commercial break. Maybe he's onto something. That feeling of being stabbed is data, and it invites me to explore why it came up. It reminds me of the Three of Swords, a card whose visceral imagery makes most people flinch. I pulled it yesterday during a reading for a friend, and she worried. We looked closer, found the pattern, and worked out a solution. You provide the meaning, so you also hold the answers.
Every week, we explore a Tarot card because Tarot is rich in symbolism and helps us pause, step out of panic, and tap into our intuition. This allows us to shift our mindset and move from overwhelm to action.
Card of the Week: The Three of Swords
A red heart stabbed by three swords against a cloudy, rainy sky. No blood appears where the swords enter the heart.
The Pattern It Reveals
The lack of blood, and the fact that swords are the realm of the mind, lead me to believe this card depicts our thoughts about our feelings. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus taught that our judgments about events shape our feelings, which makes feelings an inside-out job. It hurts when people say unkind things because you identify with the words internally. Unkind words hurt, but you determine how deeply they pierce your heart. The heart in the picture isn't anatomical; it's a symbol, reinforcing the idea that thoughts can affect feelings. The rain in the background suggests letting the feelings flow. The rain is a cleansing element to help you get to the heart of the matter. The swords meet at the heart, inviting us to explore the mind/body/feeling intersection.
The Question Worth Asking
"Is this true?" is a question I learned from Byron Katie in her process, "The Work."
When your kids say something you perceive as hurtful or when you get negative feedback during a 360 review, ask yourself whether it is true. We already sometimes feel like bad parents or imposters at work, and our kids and bosses hold real power over how we see ourselves because we crave our children's affection and our boss's validation. Feedback is a gift. We may intend our actions to help, but they may come across as punitive or judgmental. When my kid called me Stacy 'On My Phone' Casson, I could have taken offense. I know I am likely to grab my phone and distract myself. I also know that when he wants to talk in earnest, I put my phone away and am fully present. I can laugh at my behavior and use feedback to improve. I know that when I stay still and get bored, I get my best ideas.
One Small Experiment to Try This Week
When you feel hurt by something someone says, ask if it's true. Name the feeling behind the hurt. Are you sad, disappointed, frustrated, or something else? Allow yourself to feel the feeling. You can take a walk, or do a body scan, or journal. Recognize that your feelings provide data about your thought process and remember you have the power to interpret and act as you see fit.
Still beating yourself up? When I gave myself time to calm down and reflect, I often realized I was being awfully hard on myself. Feelings are not facts, but they are data. I designed the Deep Calm Session to help busy working parents relax and view their situation objectively. It's a 40-minute 1:1 call where I walk you through the CALM framework (Center, Assess, Lighten, Maintain). Most parents reduce their stress levels by 3 or 4 points on a scale of 0 to 10 and see a return on investing in themselves. You'll move from feeling like you are the worst parent on earth to recognizing the patterns that got you to this point and creating an action plan. Let's work to mend that broken heart. Save your spot today.
About The Author
Hi, friends 👋🏽. I'm Stacy Casson, a Lean Six Sigma certified mom of five. I used to hold a PhD in creating chaos. Now, I help other busy, overwhelmed parents move from Chief Doing Officer to Trusted Advisor and reclaim their peace.
