Have you ever been so tired that you wanted to cry? Yet here you are again, wide awake and it’s only 1 am. You listen to an audiobook because normally that puts you right to sleep. Not only have you finished the book, but you also need to “wake” up in an hour and are no closer to sleep. How many cups of coffee will you need to make it through all the meetings you have planned today? Maybe you should start a load of laundry. I’ve spent most of this week binge-watching K-dramas hoping they would make me tired enough to sleep. I feel like the Star, pouring two pitchers and never quite managing to fill the pond. As parents, we have limited resources to allocate to our kids, our careers, our relationships and rarely do we have anything left to pour into ourselves. As a continuous improvement expert, I lie awake trying to find the root cause. Insomnia is a symptom. What can the Star teach us about our energy levels?
Every week, we explore a Tarot card because Tarot is rich in symbolism and helps us pause, step out of panic, and tap into our intuition. This allows us to shift our mindset and move from overwhelm to action.
Card of the Week: The Star
A nude blonde woman kneels by a pond, one foot in the water and the other on land. She pours water from two pitchers, one into the pond and one on the land. The water being poured on the land branches out, and some of it returns to the pond. She is surrounded by grass and budding plants, and above her, six white stars form a sickle around a large yellow star. In the background, an ibis lands on a tree, and a mountain range rises behind it. It almost feels like those dreams where you are naked, except you don’t mind and do your work without covering up.
The Pattern It Reveals
If a busy executive comes to me complaining about insomnia, the first thing I would do is to help them to define the problem. They may say that every night, they wake up around 1 am and are unable to get back to sleep; this is a problem because it makes it difficult to accomplish their tasks (they notice they are making mistakes and have to rework reports), and they also feel they are coming down with something. I would then work with them to define the root cause. Our body tries to help us in ways we interpret as sabotage. Time is a finite resource, and we need to finish that report, pick up Billy’s uniform, and plan our anniversary dinner, and we tell ourselves we don’t have enough time. Our body interprets that need and responds by waking us up at 1 am so we have time to do what we want to accomplish. Do we need to work like that? The Star is focused on pouring water. She doesn’t look or worry about if she will have enough water to pour. Everything in the picture suggests abundance and enough. We can’t rest because we have so many open loops in our brains and become overwhelmed. Notice that the Star’s foot rests on the water and doesn't become submerged. She may be the epitome of work/life balance.
The Question Worth Asking
Do I have enough to pour?
This may be the question we ask if we come from a place of lack and broken processes. The Star doesn’t worry about these things. She pours most of the water into the main pond, and the rest onto the land. Some of the water she pours on the land returns to the pond. Many professionals feel that they need to pour most of the water into the land instead of into themselves. This is what causes the open loops. We prioritize getting the work done over rest and renewal. We run from fire to fire, pouring more water on the flames. A better question to ask is: Am I pouring into the items that will help me close the loop?
One Small Experiment to Try This Week
Schedule one non-negotiable for yourself on the calendar and protect it. This must be something you want for yourself that will renew you and help you to close the loop. The kid’s homework, the Emerson report, scheduling your mom’s appointment do not count. Those are distractions that enable you to avoid the hard things that keep you up at night. All those shoulda-woulda-couldas: choose one and schedule it for when you have the most energy. Give your best to yourself.
Are you always waiting for things to calm down to get your work done? When was the last time you took a moment to yourself? When I gave myself time to calm down and reflect, I often find that many of my wounds are self-inflicted. I’m pouring my energy into entertaining rabbit holes. Busy does not mean productive. I designed the Deep Calm Session to help busy working parents relax and view their situation objectively. It’s a 40-minute 1:1 call where I walk you through the CALM framework. Most parents reduce their stress levels by three or four points and see the return on investing in themselves. You’ll move from feeling like you are running on fumes to reallocating your precious time and energy where you can close the loops. Leave feeling ready to shine like the Star. Ready to close some loops? Save your spot today.
About The Author
Hi, friends 👋🏽. I'm Stacy Casson, a Lean Six Sigma certified mom of five. I used to hold a PhD in creating chaos. Now, I help other busy, overwhelmed parents move from Chief Doing Officer to Trusted Advisor and reclaim their peace.
