As parents, our lives can revolve around worry. When my eldest calls out of the blue, the first thing they say is “I’m okay,” because they know that I’m going to think they were in a collision. We wear our anxiety like a comfy robe. Yesterday, despite the threat of rain, I did something new and joined the Unhurried Society. I’m a founding member and currently the only other member besides the founder. That didn’t stop us from enjoying the beach's relative solitude and beauty. Like the weary character depicted in the Nine of Wands, I weighed the pros and cons. Will I find parking? Will it rain?
Every week, we explore a Tarot card because Tarot is rich in symbolism and helps us pause from the panic and tap into our intuition. This allows us to shift our mindset and move from overwhelm to action.
Card of the Week: The Nine of Wands
A lone figure stands in front of a fence of staffs, leaning on his staff. His head is bandaged, and he’s looking off into the distance. He could be wondering, “Will I need to use my staff to defend myself?”
The Pattern It Reveals
When you’ve been disappointed or hurt before, you become wary. You find excuses not to do new things. The staff could become a crutch. After experiencing danger, it's easy to become hypervigilant. It can become a cage and keep new experiences out. When I went to the beach event, I realized I couldn't get pizza for the kids as we had discussed earlier. I asked them if they needed me to come home early. One had made something themselves, and the other called dibs on the leftovers. It felt liberating to recognize they could figure out dinner without me. Instead of imagining the worst, I got to experience their growth.
We need to be wary of wariness. It can be protective, and also a cage.
The Question Worth Asking
Why are we hesitant?
It would have been easy to skip the Unhurried Society event. What a pain. I’d have to drive to the beach, hope that I find parking, and then lug my chair while searching for people I didn’t know. My phone warned me about lightning within ten miles. I made a commitment. What was I avoiding? I was honest that all these objections came from being nervous about meeting new people. I got to the beach and found parking easily. It was a brief walk, and the host had set up a beautiful little presentation in the sand, making her easy to find. I was the only person who showed up. The other seventeen people who listened to their fear missed out on a beautiful and relaxing time.
One Small Experiment to Try This Week
Say yes to small things that would normally make you uncomfortable.
Give yourself permission to expand your comfort zone. It’s not just your kids growing up; you are also moving into the next phase, and that requires letting go. This is also how you build trust. Doing something for myself was modeling independent behavior. My kids wanted me to see them as independent, and so they stepped up and figured out dinner for themselves. Expanding your comfort zone allows your kids to become more autonomous.
Are you nervous about trying new things? This past Friday, I led my parenting group through a ritual to release what no longer served them. The science says that taking action on your own terms helps you to recover faster. Being in community with others will provide the support you need to change. What burdens are you unaware of? What would help you to lay them down? I created the Peaceful Parent community as a judgment-free space for parents to let their hair down and find respite. If you aren’t on Skool, yes, it does involve signing up for a new community. What’s the best that can happen? Join us today.
About The Author
Hi, friends 👋🏽. I'm Stacy Casson, a Lean Six Sigma certified mom of five. I used to hold a PhD in creating chaos. Now, I help other busy, overwhelmed parents have peaceful evenings and avoid dramatic mornings.
