Have you heard of a “Yes Day?” It’s a day when a parent or the parents decide to say yes to everything their kid(s) ask for, with some ground rules. Today, all of my previous yesses came home to roost. Today, I need to do an impromptu photoshoot, introduce myself as a vendor, finish a deck for a presentation I’m doing next weekend (which meant I had to cancel a volunteer event because I didn’t put the presentation on my calendar), and it feels very much like the energy from the Eight of Wands.
Every week, we explore a Tarot card because Tarot is rich in symbology and helps us tap into our intuition.
Card of the Week: The Eight of Wands
Eight staffs are soaring through the air. They are either taking off or about to land depending on your point of view.
The Pattern It Reveals
I was having dinner with a colleague who was in town for training, and she was living a “Yes Day”, trying to get everything done for her job whilst being away for training. That’s a recipe for overwhelm and burnout. As Radiohead sings, “You do it yourself, you do, and that’s what really hurts.” I get that I am the pot calling the kettle black, since my current load is also due to treating everything as urgent. At this moment, I see the wands all landing on me like a volley of arrows. Are we being intentional with our energy?
The Question Worth Asking
Is it urgent?
“You say it’s urgent. So urgent. So-o-o urgent, just you wait and see.” - Foreigner
I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve wasted working on an “urgent” project just to hurry up and wait. During COVID, my kid would reach out to me for everything, and I treated it as an emergency and became as dysregulated as my kid. I took some time to reflect and decided to talk with my kid and set some boundaries. Unless he was seriously injured or there was blood, he needed to check with his teacher and the school tutoring help service during my work hours. Within a day or two, things calmed down immensely, and he continues to be empowered to find solutions.
One Small Experiment to Try This Week
Pretend those eight wands are the number of spoons you have today. Spoon theory represents units of mental and/or physical energy.
When someone comes to you with a crisis or urgent request, take a moment to pause and breathe. Then ask yourself if you can afford to give a wand to this request. One of the best pieces of advice that I learned from a fellow admin was to wait to respond. Normally, things will take care of themselves. I work with middle schoolers, and part of my job is helping them with their homework. I can’t give every child my attention at the same time, so I acknowledge them and continue working with the child I'm currently working with. Once it is their turn, they often have figured out the problem themselves. Urgency is often due to people being uncomfortable with discomfort. We do not have to be a human shock absorber.
Where does a false sense of urgency show up now that school is back? Is it during hectic mornings? The night before? Once they get home from school? Last week I partnered with Mindy Green, a former clinical social worker and neuro-trained parenting coach, and we helped the participants navigate transitions strategically. Back to school doesn’t have to feel like all your responsibilities raining down on you. It can feel manageable and peaceful. A lost shoe is not the same as burning the toast. After watching the replay, you will know how to create tailored, actionable steps for each of the three transition times in a school day. If you missed it, you can get the replay by completing this form.
About The Author
Hi, friends 👋🏽. I'm Stacy Casson, a Lean Six Sigma certified mom of five. I used to hold a PhD in creating chaos. Now, I help other busy, overwhelmed parents have peaceful evenings and avoid dramatic mornings.
