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Things To Think About, Monday, October 1st, 2018

Dying is easy, living is the hard part.

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Happy Monday, or whatever Monday you choose.

Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to make new connections. Dr. Carol S. Dweck is a trailblazer and is known for her work on the growth mindset. Today is a good day to die to old ways of thinking. If you are willing to do the work, you CAN transform yourself. You CAN redefine yourself. In the winter, everything appears dead, but really the seeds are under the ground being metamorphosed and preparing to bloom in the spring. What purpose does it serve to hold on to things that are no longer useful to you? What changes have you been putting off or are currently happening? What are your thoughts about these possible or impending changes? Are you stuck? When you clear out the weeds, you make room for new things to grow.

But, and there is always a but – people do not like to change. We want to hold on to the “good old days.” We are nostalgic for the way things used to be. We reflect on our past with rose tinted glasses and feel that the changes can wait. Things are not that bad. If things are not that bad, why do you want to jump out of your skin? You do not have to erase your past, but there are lessons to be learned. When you were happy, what made you happy? Do those same things make you happy? During the darker times, have you figured out how you got there? I do not want to erase a single awkward or painful moment from my past because it made me realize many years later, that I am enough and I have always been enough. I acted in certain ways because I thought someone else would be able to make me the person I wanted to be; I needed other people’s approval to be a success.

I had to let go. It was not easy. Admitting to yourself that you are a fool is not a fun experience. I wish I could have told my teenage self to get on the inner tube and have adventures. Nobody was going to remember years later that you were overweight and clumsy. If they do remember, they have problems of their own and challenges to overcome. However, if I did not see what the fear cost me, I never would have started to make changes in my life. I thought I always wanted to be a doctor. Then I realized that I did not like sick people. Fast forward in life, and while I may not be tending wounds, I find myself helping to soothe broken psyches. Like I always say, “Sometimes you have to fail spectacularly in order to grow.” I actively try and fail on a daily basis. I even have a failure accountability partner. I am sorry to report that I did not fail today. I’ll have to try harder.

What’s next? Probably more pain and heartbreak. If soil had feelings, I’m pretty sure it would not enjoy the feeling of being poked and prodded for aeration. All the rocks and hidden things exposed would be disconcerting. The newly planted seeds would have felt foreign and irritating. The loss is painful. It hurts. I have given up many dreams. The pain is from a loss of self, but are you genuinely losing yourself or the person you THINK you are? Our thinking defines us. Having a fixed mindset can keep us stuck in our rut. Are you willing to feel the pain? The good news is that you do not have to remain stuck in the past. If you are committed to die to your old way of thinking, the seeds you plant can bloom.

I'm looking forward to meeting the new you. Let’s get to work.