Happy Monday, or whatever Monday you choose.
This past week has been a mixed bag. I have had many successes from visualizing my goals. Do you often snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? This weekend, I watched myself fail and was an active participant. Is it easy for you to help others, but you struggle to take your advice? I knew all the things I could have done differently, but would not implement the actions. Why is that? That is probably the underlying question I need to explore. Am I ready to do something different? How can I clear the air in my mind?
Sometimes we have to trust our gut and act. It is similar to learning a new language. If you try and translate in your head, it slows you down. If you immerse yourself and go with what you have learned, I find you get the gist of what is being said and start to think in the other language. So it is with trying to change. If we wait for all of our ducks to be in a row and for a complete understanding of why we do what we do, we may never change. We let the perfect get in the way of the good. Everything does not have to be flawless. What does have to happen is that we have the intention to change and we take the first step. People who successfully quit smoking set a goal. They are not always successful the first time, but if they stick with it, the purpose guides them on their journey. Where do you put your focus? If you focus on the failures, you will continue to fail.
Do you have a go-to or default methodology? Maybe it worked for you in the past, but is it working now? What would happen if you responded to the challenge in a new way? When you clear out the cobwebs in your mind, what other things come into view? Perhaps you will find other tools and coping skills. Allow yourself a growth mindset and the ability to view yourself differently. What are you saying to yourself? “I always….” “I should have….” “I wish I had….” Can you change that inner dialogue? Instead of “I am xyz” what if you said “I am experiencing xyz” or “I used to do xyz, but I have options”?
What’s next? Sometimes how we react to current challenges is related to our past. We view our previous situations through rose-colored glasses, and that can trap us in old patterns. If you feel that change means that you have lost who you were perhaps you could consider evolving. A butterfly and a caterpillar are different, but they are the same creature. Do you want to stay a caterpillar, safe in your cocoon? Are you cocooning yourself in nostalgia and old ways of thinking? Breaking out of your shell can be painful and messy, but when you emerge, you can fly.