Today is my last day of my current vacation. I unplugged from work and spent time with my family. I also took care of many pending personal items such as getting my taxes done. Yay me! I also got started working with Asmara Kazmi, also known as The Faff Slayer. She's given me five tasks to do every day. What I have learned is its harder to laugh everyday than I've thought. I've also learned to celebrate the many amazing people in my life. I went to a county fair with my family and noticed how energizing it is to be with people I love. What will change when I return to work? I will make time for the people who are important to me. How will I do that? Scheduling time on the calendar. I noticed that what gets scheduled is more likely to get done. I've slept in most days on vacation and today I decided to wake up at my regular time. It's amazing how many items I've already checked off on my to do list.
Making a list does not ensure results. Am I taking on items that will get me closer to my goals? I thought that the flowers I bought yesterday were an impulse buy but I realize that I've wanted to replant the retaining wall for months. I kept waiting to find the flowers that I originally had there, but did not know what they were since they were a gift. I had been putting off planting because those flowers appeared to be indestructible and I told myself a story that I am a plant killer. While it's true I killed an air plant, I also have successfully grown rosemary and scallion. Emily Weltman's comment about it being difficult to determine what is a priority if I give equal weight to the urgency of everything made so much sense. I made having a successful flower garden a matter of life and death instead of something pretty. I followed the directions and if I ensure they have water, I should have flowers. How will I ensure they get watered? Put it on the calendar!
It's near impossible for me to not overschedule my day. If I have a free weekend, I will fill it up with foolishness and then bemoan all the things I didn't get done. That may still happen today, but we shall see. There is a task I have been avoiding because it makes me uncomfortable. I am going to add it to my to do list, but it will not have a timeline because sometimes that demotivates me. However, instead of beating myself up about not doing it, like the flowers, it will get done. Sometimes, my brain has to percolate for a while to figure out how I want to accomplish something. Normally it will get done in an "and suddenly" moment. I can judge that it's not a valid way to get things done because "normal" people make a plan and execute which I can do for many things. However, success for me often comes as a lightening strike and I have to harness the energy when it comes. Usually when I embrace those moments awesome things like getting a new toaster oven for under twenty-bucks happens. It's not for everyone, but it does not matter since the strategy only needs to work for me. Maybe I should put, give myself grace on my to-do list.
One of my taglines is "You're the boss of you." Going back to work, I will need to be the boss of me. I'm good at helping other people to get clear about their next steps and need to remember that I am my first client. It's not enough to have a idea, it's vital to define success. Making a change is vague. Change can results in me jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. I also need to remember that feelings are not facts but honor my feelings nonetheless. I forgot the name I gave my inner voice, but today she feels like a Phyllis. Phyllis is not a critic, but a straight shooter. She will call me out on the lies I tell myself. Lies such as "I can't," "I won't," "It's too hard." If I can figure out how to fix a switch without any formal training, I can do the research, the work, and accept help for the other goals. The good news is that I am already on this journey. It began before vacation and feels different this time. What did we just say? It is different this time. I am using alternative methods and have many accountablity partners. Are you looking to be the boss of you? It is challenging, but you can start with a tiny change. What will you do differently? Namaste.
If you would like to work with me and have questions, please reach out.