I work as an after-school mentor because it lights me up inside and keeps me sharp between clients. I really wanted it to be a good day at work. I was determined to smile and be happy. By the end of the day, we had missed a request to release a student because it was so loud. I felt like the wounded warrior from the Nine of Wands, exhausted and needing to lean on my staff for support. I conferred with my team, looked into the root causes, and made a plan for the next day. I know so many people who go to work to escape from their kids for a while. Even though I have kids, home is my happy place, and I love being with them; and even though I’m still figuring out the rhythm, I love working with kids.
Every week, we explore a Tarot card because Tarot is rich in symbolism and helps us pause from the panic and tap into our intuition. This allows us to shift our mindset and move from overwhelm to action.
Card of the Week: The Nine of Wands
A person with a bandaged head leans on a staff. Eight other staffs sprout leaves behind him, with mountains in the distance.
The Pattern It Reveals
This is the third time I’ve pulled this card, and today I noticed the mountains in the background. As a parent, you'll have days when you feel like you can’t do anything wrong. Like my friend, Brandyn Gallagher, says, THINK about it. (I’ve linked their video) Is your self-talk true or helpful? The mountains remind me to look at how far we have come. I imagine he’s looking at the mountains he still needs to climb and resting before starting.
The Question Worth Asking
What have I learned on my parenting journey?
I’m sure you haven’t failed at everything. If you are reading this, you obviously care about your kids and are trying to find tools to help you be the parent you want to be. I’ve learned that kids need consistency and also that they ask questions, not always to be defiant, but to make meaning of a world that is new to them. Remember, the knowledge we take for granted is something they are piecing together and trying to understand. The next day, my team decided that we needed to set expectations from the start. A boundary is what you will do in response to others’ actions. We explained the ground rules and also provided research about our daily Brain Breaks. (Every day, one of the students asked why we did a Brain Break). We stopped being permissive and followed our behavior protocol. These kids know if I say something, I mean it, just like my kids at home. Finally, we started a different seating layout because we noticed that larger groups were noisier. Consistency is the key, and we will need to continue our no-nonsense approach. With the kids being quieter, I could hear myself think and be the “fun” teacher. Just like we want to be able to focus at home and be the “cool” parent.
One Small Experiment to Try This Week
Pause and think before you say or do something. Does it follow the THINK model? Is it true, helpful, inspiring, necessary or kind? Starting a new habit can be a challenge, and it's usually easier if you anchor it to something you already do. This may seem weird, but I’m going to put honey on my lips. First, it’s an excellent humectant, but the tacky texture will remind me that I have honey on my lips and that I want to speak with sweetness and kindness.
Do you feel like you’ve gotten lost on the path? Look for familiar landmarks. Just as the sun rises in the east, you love your kids. Build on that. I raised five kids as a working mom, all attending different schools without them being late or absent, and four are now college graduates. I’ve walked that path and made it through the quicksand of getting stuck. I have come through the other side, and you can too. You can start building the habits that will last. I’ve created a method to start your kids on their journey to independence. Are you ready to start? Join me today, October 4th at 1 pm ET, and let’s learn how to move forward when the rug’s been pulled out from under your feet. Save your seat using this link. If you’re reading this after the event, it’s not too late- join my Peaceful Parenting group and learn to breathe and reclaim your calm.
About The Author
Hi, friends 👋🏽. I'm Stacy Casson, a Lean Six Sigma certified mom of five. I used to hold a PhD in creating chaos. Now, I help other busy, overwhelmed parents move from Chief Doing Officer to Trusted Advisor and reclaim their peace.
